Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
