Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
