he shaved USA in his pubs
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize