I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
