Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I supernannyed him into submission
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
