just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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