Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize