Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
