In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
