He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
