google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
being pregnant is like rehab
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
