I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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