it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
He kissed a someone with a penis
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize