i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
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Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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