seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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