If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
