"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much Jack, so little girl.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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