yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
