I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
i need to put some appletini on your dick
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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