Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
