oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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