All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
