Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize