Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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