I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
