And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So here I am, sexting at work.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
