I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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