If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize