She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Randomize
