The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize