i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
