dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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