Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Drake has all the answers
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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