my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
