"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You took a bar mat shot.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
