Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
