I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize