she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
