All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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