I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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