"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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