tell your sister to shave her snatch
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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