some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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