come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize