You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Fuck appropriateness.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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