Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
