The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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