i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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