ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
my liver is dry heaving
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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