$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
