so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
