i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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