The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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