Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
