I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize