why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
