She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
