Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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