Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I pour the whiskey from now on
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
