Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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