I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
